Family & Systemic Therapy

Moving for work to a new country, culture, a new life can be incredibly exciting. It can also be a hugely stressful experience. Expat moves are often managed; relocation specialists, shipping, accommodation providers, school transferals. On the surface it can seem like the ideal way to move overseas and there can be an internal feeling of not having the 'right' to worry or express your feelings out loud. Moving to another country is a very significant transition and can require figurative as well as literal unpacking. Taking the time to process the myriad of very real and often immediate changes to your life helps you to acknowledge and work through your feelings - sometimes guilt, anxiety, loneliness, isolation, resentment, grief & uncertainty. Expats with children can also experience the pressure of having to be 'ok' in order to help them settle in, acting as a support for others, while also feeling overwhelmed and overstretched. Life as a ‘trailing spouse’ can be a challenging position and raising ‘Third Culture Kids’, can also require additional navigation . Therapy that focuses on international relocation can be attended as an individual, a couple or as a family and is a flexible process that responds to the needs of the clients as they arise.

NVR

CPVA (child to parent violence and abuse) is an abuse of power or an 'upside down hierarchy' in which a child under 18 controls, coerces or dominates other members of the family. "If parents, carers or guardians feel that they must adapt their behaviour due to threats of abusive or violent behaviour by a child or adolescent, then there is child to parent violence or abuse" .( NVR Ireland, 2024). Parents, siblings and the child can feel stuck in this cycle, 'walking on egg shells' and 'keeping the peace' but at a real cost to the relationship between the family members. CPVA is often not talked about and because of this silence, parents and guardians can believe that they are the only ones experiencing this. This is a problem that many families experience. You are not alone and in fact, because there was such a need, the NVR program was created. We work with the view that supporting and empowering parents to identify, create and hold appropriate boundaries creates change. NVR is a structured course where we focus on the relational patterns that have developed over time, identifying 'the dance' between parent and child, learning skills and developing tools to regulate our own emotional state, deescalate the conflict, create and stick with boundaries and over time, develop a greater presence and authority in our children's lives.

Parenting at the Pointy End

Parenting children though transitions - child to adolescent, adolescent to adult , adult children living at home, diagnosis of neurodivergence or other mental health diagnosis can be rough stuff . Our children challenge us & conflict can feel like it's permanently hovering in the background. The old rules or ways of doing things don't work, we love them yet also want to avoid them and we often start to feel badly about ourselves as both parents and people. We regret not being the parents or people we want to be when we get into that pattern of escalation with them. It is a cycle that feels like the Crumlin roundabout when you don't know what exit to take. Parenting at the pointy end focuses on the needs of parents. This can seem counter intuitive - especially if we 'know' that it's our kiddo is the problem, but you cannot pour from an empty cup. Parents, guardians & carers are the foundation on which the family stands. You are important. Change and development in parents can lead to change in the family dynamic. This work addresses how you position yourselves as people as well as parents - you were a whole person before you became a mother, father or caregiver and reconnecting with the parts of ourself we have lost touch with allows us to find strengths and competencies we may have forgotten we have. .